You smell like a Billy Joel song
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize