Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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