I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
