roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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