I'm going to jail i love you
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
