kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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