if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize