i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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