I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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