Sponge bath it is.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
