We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
