just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
