The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
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