im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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