ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
