I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
