I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
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drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
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Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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