just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
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