Your dad touched me again.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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