he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
