You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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