I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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