I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
