since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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