Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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