Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize