Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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