It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
