he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
