he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize