'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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