Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
