I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm like, not good at living.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize