talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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