I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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