This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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