kristin has been a bad kristin
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
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I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
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When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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