A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize