made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize