Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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