Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize