she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
