i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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