Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
and she was petting her beer can
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
