What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
