he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
