I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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