If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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