just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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