She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
