his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
PANTIES FOUND
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