so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
