i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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