why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
