if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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