When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Who died my cat blue again?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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