dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize