i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
