no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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